Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
