im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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