We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So squirting runs in the family.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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