After last night, I could never be a politician.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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