Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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