weddingsv make me drug and hornr
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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