i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
