One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
