I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
