Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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