your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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