i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
