There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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