Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
