He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
