Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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