Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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