I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
