Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
