Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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