She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
