Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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