My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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