yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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