Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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