Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We are all done wearing pants today
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
