what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
