I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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