NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
