He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize