Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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