The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
