Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
