Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
