I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
