It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
