YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
