so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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