We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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