I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
