I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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