So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
