Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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