Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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