Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
