what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
