I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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