Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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