writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
