No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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