Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
