She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
