hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
