We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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