She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
