I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
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