you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
