I'm lost and stupid without you.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
