You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
