I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
