Can i not drive my cunt home
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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