I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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